Mr. Darcy’s Comedy of Errors – A Pride and Prejudice Variation Novella

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These are the chapters posted as I was writing the book. They have not been professionally edited. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Mr. Darcy slowed his horse to a trot as he approached Pemberley’s stable yard. He quickly dismounted and threw the reins to the nearest stable hand. “Give him a good rubdown and cooling out.”

Mr. Darcy walked briskly, almost breaking into a run, but he contained himself, as it would not do for the master of Pemberley to be seen running to his wife’s bedchamber. He was sure there was enough gossip downstairs among the servants already.

He could not keep a smirk off his face as he jogged up the steps of the main staircase. Mr. Darcy slowed down as he neared Elizabeth’s room, cleared his throat, ran his hand through his hair, and then stopped. Should he have a bath before he entered his wife’s bedroom?

Mr. Darcy narrowed his eyes in thought. He had ridden for a few hours on his favorite horse and had worked up a sweat. After checking that no servants were visible, he pulled at his cravat and sniffed. He frowned as he strode back to his bedchamber door and stormed inside. He pulled the bell for his valet. “Damn and blast.”

He felt that he knew Elizabeth quite well now that they had been married for nearly three months, yet he felt their marriage was too young for him to go to her for lovemaking directly after dismounting from his horse. He sighed and sat down, resigning himself to waiting until after his bath.

Mr. Darcy’s valet, Mr. McKeever, held his bedchamber door open for several servants to enter with buckets of hot water. Mr. Darcy had not even asked his valet for a bath yet and was both proud of his valet knowing his needs and uncomfortable that his needs were so easy to ascertain.

“Mr. McKeever, how did you know that I needed a bath before I had rung for you?”

His valet walked away from the bathtub. “It was a simple deduction. You had been riding for hours and would, therefore, want to remove any dust and dirt from the roads.”

Finally, his bath was ready. All the servants had quit the room, but Mr. McKeever stayed to pull Mr. Darcy out of his tight jacket and boots. The valet quit the room as Mr. Darcy continued to undress and then reclined in the hot water. It was soothing to his aching muscles, and he leaned back with a deep sigh.

This bath would be even more delightful if he was not the only one in the tub. He smirked at the thought of asking Elizabeth to join him. He could well imagine how a blush would color her neck and cheeks. He closed his eyes, imagining his wife undressing and joining him in the tub, when a knock at his door interrupted his pleasing meditation.

Mr. Darcy frowned at his valet.

“I apologize sir, but there are two carriages arriving with trunks piled on top. I do not recognize the carriages.” Mr. McKeever cleared his throat. “Were you expecting visitors?”

Mr. Darcy sat up with a scowl. “I am not. Does my wife know of this?”

“I wanted to notify you first.”

Mr. Darcy stood in the bath and held out his arm for a towel. “Ask her to greet the arrivals. Tell her I will be there soon. Tell me when you know who they are. I have not invited anyone, and I am quite sure Elizabeth has not either.”

The valet bowed and then quit the bedchamber as Mr. Darcy angrily dried himself. Who would have the nerve to come to visit while they were still newlyweds? He could not believe his aunt and uncle, the Matlocks, would do such a thing. He knew Georgiana missed Pemberley but had been quite happy in London with the Matlocks these last few months. She had written lengthy letters of all the shopping, opera, soirees, and museums. Could she have begged to come home to Pemberley early?

Mr. Darcy pulled the bell for his valet to help with his jacket and boots. He did not want the Matlocks to have just Elizabeth greet them; that would be a disaster. His relatives wanted all the social rules followed, and if they were greeted only by his wife, well, he would not want Elizabeth subjected to it.

Thank you reviewers!

I rely on the reviews for each posted chapter of Pride and Prejudice and Poison at, for feedback regarding how the story is going, what readers think will happen next and what I’ve gotten wrong about Regency England. Every review is read though I don’t comment on them as I don’t have the time. I enjoy the positive the reviews as they help to battle the constant self doubt that afflicts an author “is

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Chapter 1 of Pride and Prejudice and Poison

The sound of horses and carriage carried through the windows to the occupants of the drawing room. They looked up at each other in wonder. “Who could that be?” Kitty, who had been wandering the grounds, saw the carriage plus four thunder down the lane towards their house. She ran into the drawing room. “There’s a coach with four horses coming down the lane! There is a coat of arms on the coach! I do

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Chapter 2 of Pride and Prejudice and Poison

Elizabeth pondered the strange visit, walking on the grounds, through the trees just meandering as she turned the reason for Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s visit in her mind. How could she have gotten the strange idea that Mr. Darcy and her were engaged?  He asked her many months ago! She was quite clear in her refusal and honestly was still surprised that Mr. Darcy deigned to acknowledge her when their party visited Pemberley months ago. 

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Chapter 3 of Pride and Prejudice and Poison

“Where is Lizzy? Hill, where is Lizzy? She has switched rooms with one of her sisters? I am not a doddering old fool unable to remember where his children’s bedrooms are?” Mr. Bennet smiled genially upon Hill. He did not visit his favorite daughter the day before, as with the maids running about, he figured it was best if he left that alone. It sounded like things had quieted down, so he was going to

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Chapter 4 of Pride and Prejudice and Poison

“I say, the Bennet’s seem to have visitors.” Mr. Bingley addressed his comment to Mr. Darcy, currently riding his big dappled gray next to him on the lane towards Longbourn.  Mr. Darcy spied the horse cart near the front of the home. He shook his head. “I daresay, not visitors.  That is a horse cart if I am not mistaken. Have you had a letter from Miss Bennet today stating if anyone has been taken

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Chapter 5 of Pride and Prejudice and Poison

“No, no Sir. You must not!” Elizabeth tried to push the apothecary away but the strong assistant held her arms down. “You are delirious, miss. Never fear this shall be over in a trice. Mrs. Wentworth, keep your hold steady on the arms while I place the leeches.” Elizabeth rolled her head from side to side and tried to move her body, but she was so weak she was sure a butterfly could keep her

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Chapter 6 of Pride and Prejudice and Poison

“I do not know where your friend, Mr. Darcy, has gone to. He seems to show an inordinate concern for his horse? Much more than for the very people he Is visiting.” Jane blushed and glanced at Mr. Bingley who was staring at Mrs. Bennet. “I have never seen such bad manners. I should be assured that if I were visiting someone I would not dare leave to go check on my horse.” Jane glanced

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Chapter 7 of Pride and Prejudice and Poison

As Mr. Bingley and Jane walked past the little copse of trees, with the hidden table and chairs inside, Jane wondered at what was discussed between Elizabeth and Lady Catherine de Bourgh. If she was not mistaken, Elizabeth’s illness started that very same day. How odd. “You are quiet my beloved. Do not worry. Mr. Darcy will bring back a most qualified physician before you know it. When he sets his mind to something, nothing

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Pride and Prejudice and Poison is live in stores now!

Hooray! It’s Launch Day!  Time to break out the yummy cake or English tea and crumpets and celebrate! PPP or Pride and Prejudice and Poison is available for ebook and paperback at Amazon, ebook from B&N, Kobo and Google Play. I will get on sending it to Apple iBooks and other online bookstores. I hope you enjoy it and happy reading!

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An easy way to find that Pride and Prejudice variation!

I was having a hard time scrolling through Amazon, searching for certain Pride and Prejudice variations and I got tired of it.  Fed up with it.  So I created a site with categories for the many P&P variations. Pride and Prejudice I have a contact form so you can tell me what categories need to be added. I’m still adding books to the site so it is nowhere near complete. But there are many

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The Windflower by Laura London – WOW

I don’t know about you, but I love me some pirate stories! There has to be romance, of course, and the story has not be too realistic i.e. absolutely no rape.  Which means no pirate romance I read is realistic.  But The Windflower is the most realistic one I’ve read. SPOILERS BELOW – BEWARE ME HEARTIES (sorry, I couldn’t help it) The pirate had indifference as to whether she lived or died. She was held

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Chapter 1 of Pride and Prejudice and Secrets

Author’s note: I still have not thought of a name for the sequel. So for now, it shall be called the elaborate name of PPP Sequel. SPOILERS————————————— This is a recap of events as we left them in Pride and Prejudice and Poison. Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet had just gotten married in a double wedding with Jane and Mr. Bingley. Miss Bingley was beside herself with jealousy. Lady Catherine de Bourgh was incarcerated in

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Chapter 2 of Pride and Prejudice and Secrets

“How is the carriage? Is it to your liking?” Elizabeth smiled and squeezed Mr. Darcy’s hand. “Yes it is. This is the most comfortable ride I have ever had in a carriage. Including the carriage of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.” Mr. Darcy frowned as he looked at his wife. “When did you ride in my aunt’s carriage? “ “Lady Catherine’s carriage took us to the closest town when Maria Lucas and I left the Collins.”

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Chapter 3 of Pride and Prejudice and Secrets

Author’s Note: I have been watching a few period pieces lately. Upstairs, Downstairs. Downton Abbey. Death Comes to Pemberley. I have decided that if any of my books ever get turned into a movie, Matthew Goode has to play Mr. Darcy. He was George Wickham in Death Comes to Pemberley and Henry Talbot in Downton Abbey. ———- Elizabeth could barely keep her eyes open when the maid came into the bedchamber. It had taken forever

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Chapter 4 of Pride and Prejudice and Secrets

“I cannot believe how much we ordered. I never thought I could tire of shopping, but I am so exhausted I could go to sleep for days.” Georgianna fell back on the sofa in the drawing room. Elizabeth joined her. They both looked at each other and began laughing. “We have to be the only two women in London that do not want to shop much.” “I never did shop, really. I was hardly ever

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Chapter 5 of Pride and Prejudice and Secrets

Author’s Note: I just have one word about this chapter: cows. Now that the awkward discussion with Mr. Darcy was over, Elizabeth’s nerves did not calm down. Now that the wedding night was indeed happening tonight, she was a bundle of nerves. “Elizabeth, you seem rather nervous? You do not need to fear Pemberley. All the servants will love you!” Elizabeth assured Georgianna that she knew the servants would be perfectly amiable. She was surely

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Mr. Darcy hot pants

Oh that Mr. Darcy

He’s teasing Elizabeth about cows again in Chapter 23. I’m so excited because I can see the end from here!

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Horrible headache – no update today

I’m sorry readers. I have the worst headache today. There probably will not be a chapter posted today. I may try to edit through it, or give up and lie down with ice on my head and a washcloth on my eyes.  

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Pictures from the Jane Austen festival

I ran across these photos online. It’s of the Regency dress parade that opens the Jane Austen festival in Bath. That would be so much fun to be part of!  I love the photo of the police with the tiny umbrella.

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I Made a Vision Board

I made a vision board and put it up. My cat knocked it down. I put it up in a new spot. My cat knocked it down on my head. Apparently I am not to have any goals other than his needs and wants.

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Chapter 1 of Forced to Marry

“Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.” Mr. Darcy then walked out of the Collins’ Parsonage slamming the door. Oh, that insufferable man! To think that he could have made his proposal in any manner that she would have accepted. For him to think that she would have accepted his proposal after he told her how inferior her connections were! “Arrogant,

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Chapter 2 of Forced to Marry

Elizabeth blanched and looked back down at her bleeding palms. She was completely mortified and humiliated. Not just for being sprawled on the ground with her dress up and chemise exposed, but for being found by the man whose proposal she had just turned down. She struggled even more to push herself up with her wrists. “Miss Elizabeth, you are injured. Let me help you up.” There was no way she was going to allow

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The Words are Flowing But I Need a Book Title

I just banged out over 7,000 words on Compromised! I did a search on Amazon and found that there are two already published JAFF books called Compromised. I’m obviously going to have to rename it before I publish. Suggest some names! Compromised and Crabby? Forced to Marry? Darcy’s D’oh? Ball and Chain? Caught and Compromised? Making the Best of It?  Horrid Beginnings? Fell Into Your Heart? Tripped Into Your Heart? Sorry I Exposed Myself Accidentally

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Chapter 3 of Forced to Marry

The Collins’ maid helped Elizabeth upstairs to her bedchamber. It was not too difficult as she could brace herself on the walls and hop up the steps. The maid returned with a bowl of water, towels and liniment. “Oh my! Your hands look painful. Whatever happened?” Elizabeth had planned on keeping that quiet, but now that village women, Mr. Collins and Col. Fitzwilliam had seen her, she doubted anything would be kept quiet. Especially by

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Bella Breen is the author of over 11 published novels.

A graduate of the University of South Dakota with a B.S. in computer science, she lives with her Welsh Corgi,  Bengal cat and kitten Duchess of Destruction in the great plains.

Her favorite book has always been Pride and Prejudice and the best Mr. Darcy will always be Colin Firth.

Her hobbies include cross stitch, reading, gardening, calligraphy, painting, kayaking with her corgi and chasing the kitten.