When stories are posted on fanfiction.net, they are not professionally edited and are posted in the hopes of getting feedback from the readers as to what they love or don’t feel is working.
My Problem with your writing is mainly due to your decision to publish your work at a rather high price (8 or 9$). When buying a book at that price I would expect a certain quality of writing which you do not deliver.
No one’s work is professionally edited before posted on fanfiction.net.
If you are serious about becoming a professional writer I think you should take a step back and do whatever an author has to do (take a course, get a degree or whatever) to learn how to turn a good idea for a story into a good book as I do not believe the creativity to come up with interesting variations alone is sufficient in the long run. Also it is difficult to write a realistic story with insufficient knowledge of the aera.
You spelled era wrong.
I’m sad you didn’t enjoy my published books, but that’s ok as there are hundreds of other P&P variations to read. If you didn’t read them due to the price, that’s ok too as you can read the unedited version on my website. If you feel I don’t deserve to charge X amount because I don’t write at X level of quality, then I can’t help you.